Wednesday, 28 December 2016

Madam Lingier



About two decades from now, lived a Belgian woman in the city of Ghent. People called her Madam Lingier. One can’t find her particulars on the internet. She was not that famous. She was a sad woman with no family, children and lived alone. In her struggle through the loneliness, she once decided to travel the world. Hers is the simple story of an ordinary person. But something about her life surprised me. 
We, the ordinary people despise even an inch of loneliness in our life. In our fights with it, we switch relationships, one after another; run towards our comfort zones; choose random and non-purposeful bonds just to kill the lonely silences; pamper the desires that even our heart doesn’t actually crave for; are often tempted to choose the addictions, excuses, fakeness over loneliness. Such a strong and gray emotion loneliness is! It’s so strange that we as human beings are scared of our very own company and on prolong confrontations, we run away as quick as we can. I do not to infer to condemn the beauty of companionship with this. Love and togetherness are of-coarse the most innate essences and purposes of life, plus they provide a lot of self-validation. It’s actually the human nature to seek for the displacement of loneliness in love and togetherness. But this woman, chose an entirely different path. For 22 long years (1963-1985), she traveled across the seven continents; places like Alaska, Turkey, Siberia, India, Egypt, China, Thailand, Iran, Tunisia and many more. Each year she was in a different place imbibing totally an alien experience. On her journey, she met the children, the women, the authorities, the priests, the believers, the skeptics, common mass. She went to the capitals, the cities and the remotest interiors of these countries. She traveled beyond and across boundaries, languages, cultures and many things. She was a beautiful, wise and creative woman who voyaged with an open mind and a free spirit. But, throughout her journey she was still the same, the sad and depressed person. She always lived the weakness and solitude of mind and spirit. She seeked and practiced religion for spiritual assistance. Although, Christian by birth and belief, she tried to understand the oneness and origin of other Abrahamic religions. She went to Jerusalem to know the roots of Judaism, Christianity, Islam. She tried her best to quench her curiosity about life and both positive and negative aspects of the abstract concepts of religion, faith, nationalities, cultural differences associated with it. 
Later, in her efforts to make some sense out of her travels she engaged herself in a lot of community services. She also embroidered in large tablecloths the colorful maps and routes of her colorful journey (refer the picture). It was this faded artwork of hers that grabbed my attention and I was instigated to enquire more about her. I got a chance to meet some of the people who saw her when she was alive. Those who knew her personally, remembered her more as a sad woman who always searched and craved for peace and love. Probably, it was her longingness that made her do things which normally seem unattainable to most of us. She was neither very famous at her time, nor now but had a moderately significant wealth which was then later used for good purposes after her demise. Perhaps, after some time those purposes will also fade away like the most of her artifacts and no-one will remember her anymore. Also, there might be many other stories like her which would have once lived and later dissolved in the tide of time. But I wonder, her courage and vibes will ever die? They say that the names and stories may vanish but the energies always remain immortal.
Madam Lingier was the epitomized energy of how for some people seclusion can extend a kind of strength that even closest and dearest of relationships can’t. Many of us relish camaraderie of family and relationships but eventually end up feeling alone. Many of us most consciously and wisely choose love and family over everything in all the stages of our lives but on personal front, still survive on edges. Even with the closest of relationships, we inhale, feel, touch and breath loneliness and yet fake happiness. But Madam Lingier was strong! She was a brave personality who both lived and outlived loneliness with all the acceptance and honesty. She might have been a subdued woman of her times who lived and died in utter solitude, maybe she herself didn't like her life at all. But what she did with that desolation was exemplary! And she did that with such an exquisite grace that even bravest of us can’t. 
My profound reverence to that spirit! 


-Goldi Tewari

Tuesday, 15 November 2016

Heartstrings



Who painted the sky-
the sea, the soil, the leaves
Who whispered the soft song-
to the dew, the buds, the grass
How the dawn sprinkles the magic- 
to the day commencing.
And when the sun just touches the skyline-
how so silently the morning can just lapse by
How incredibly strong and confident a tree can stand-
and delicately the creepers wrap around.

Why the morning makes the greatest solace-
and the evening the highest escape 
Why in the best of these essences and the hues-
the more I see, the more I behold and crave for 
Why the dusk approaches with all these 'why(s)'- 
and the dawn can just shut them all down. 

It might be the mere ecstasy- 
of just being a part of it.
The assurance that wherever I go,
will be the similar beauty and paradise.
By beholding it as much as can I-
and seeing the best of this sunshine,
might bring out the best in mine. 
And with this bond-
that softly evolves, outgrows and dwells by, 
may be someday so will I! 
                                                                                                                 -Goldi







Friday, 4 November 2016

a realisation...

This morning, I saw a little kid playfully untying his grandfather's shoelaces. He was doing it repeatedly & his grandfather diligently tied them back. They both in the ecstasy of their self created game, had a great laugh together each time the kid did so.
I standing few yards away, as usual got immediately busy in making a sense of this lovely episode in my teeny-tiny brain. The 'restless goldi' zone was triggered & so was the business of linking  intangible with tangible; the abstract with concrete & vice versa. I started contemplating deeper; I associated it with all sorts of philosophical stuff my memory had in reserve; thought of the most relevant metaphorical side of it;  Already marked it as the most beautiful moment & beginning of my day. Suddenly, I felt that I was running out of the words, metaphors, thoughts & couldn't come to a conclusion (which hardly happens to me).  It was like, there were conclusion both 'many' & 'none' at the same time. 
It was then I thought, "Is it really necessary to derive a meanings out of it?". Then the realisations that may be the 'carry-back' messages are not that crucial. But if that's true, then why the brain starts processing things both cognitively & affectively as soon as it comes across somethings striking?. That's too even when I by myself feel really tired of all these bits & pieces of perception I choose when I experience things. Later on, in this process I often find myself turning into a cynical manipulator of my very own thoughts & specially the one I project. So it's actually like deceiving ones own deceiving thoughts. May be it's the redundancy of my mind that makes it hard to believe that things are usually very simple. Just because I can think, process, analyse & express, it doesn't make me more credible then the originality of the episode. 
So, may be it's great to be able to derive sense out of things but it could make ever more sense if we see the things the way they are. If I allow a moment reflect by itself, may be then it  becomes just about it, & not about my perception of it. 




Tuesday, 1 November 2016

In this city

In this city,
I see the lights,
so similar & typical.
The people,
all familiarly strange.
The evening rush,
all accustomed. 

The city keeps on forming-reforming & deforming,
sometimes the structures,
& often the people.
Has witnessed millions of changes, 
sometimes of seasons, 
& often individuals. 
Has seen many being lost 
while have guided many to home.
It waits everyday, for the rush to recede,
& then the silence of night to surpass.

This city,
I wonder whether the
light lightens it up, 
or the life does so?
                                                                                                                         
                                                                                                                        -Goldi      

                                                                                    
                                                                                                                   





Wednesday, 26 October 2016

Autumn never comes, it just passes by :) :)



Autumn has arrived and I can noticeably see the changes that have come along. It began with the fading of the leaf color and then a super-slow fall. And now I discover the autumn-footprints of wild-chestnuts, pinkish-pale leaves lying over the ground. That huge pile of leaves covering the previous distinctly visible soil. With the morning sun shining on it, it feels like I am walking over a pile of pure gold. It also reminds me of the morning walks of my graduation days in India when the avenue had the similar but silvery brilliance on the oak trees. I also have memories from my childhood; of the mountains, the lush green terraces farms, herd grazing peacefully in the grasslands, the cold yet profoundly warm touch of the water from the almost frozen springs. The dew, the mist and the snow; the gigantic mountains range, the not-so-busy curvaceous roads, the morning and evening chants of some religious mantras echoing from a temple located at the top of a distant hill. But these memories, garnished with autumn are even more vivid & profound. Wow! sometimes we don’t even realize that how larger the impact of these small reminders from nature have on us. Also, how deeply they moderate out perspectives of that time & transform into the most candid of the memories later. So better they be savored a little more consciously!
It's the season of imperfections; the leaves are pale and fall in randomness. But each of these imperfections make sense in autumn. Everything is answered; Why the sweetest melodies originate from the places with deep sorrows and pain; Why some things bring joy to human emotions; the sunrise, the birds feeding their children falling flowers of the spring while the other things trigger natural sorrows like the autumn fall? Autumn comes with the simplest of answers for the most complicated questions. 
It breaks my inertia of rest. It’s the time I know that I have to let go the memories of sweet soothing spring and the warmth of receding sober summers. It challenges the ego I develop by the thoughts I think, the knowledge I acquire, the work I do & the bonds I develop. It helps me introspect and with the drizzles outside, it brings the most intoxicating nostalgia. It helps me gain a better perspective of the transient aspect of my journey. The vigour with which I admired the spring & the way I hosted the chilly winter & the shiny summers, autumn makes me re-think & reinvigorate that spirit.  It is a season’s sweeper that we see early in the morning sweeping the streets with the most dedicated expression. It’s the farewell ode of fading tinge to the bright hue. For life feels like is just a walk through the memories & autumn. We decide how much to keep and how much to let go; the ego, the possessions, the desires, the control, the thoughts, the plans, the very own self! It is the season that one can rarely get attached to but it rekindles all the previous attachments. Autumn is the promise of a better and beautiful future but also the realization of its transient nature. I believe that the autumn actually never comes; it just passes by as a guest that we already know will stay only for a while. :) 

Wednesday, 7 September 2016

कविता: अगर कभी।


अगर कभी। 

अगर कभी,
कोई ये कहे कि तुमने जो देखा आजतक,
वो एक धोखा है! 
अगर कभी,
कह दे कोई कि भुला दो वो सबकुछ ,
जहाँ से सब उपलब्धियों-गलतियों की शुरुआत हुई थी 
अगर कभी,
कोई छीन ले तुमसे,
वो सबकुछ जो तुमको कभी मिला अपने जन्म से ,
और कभी अपने अनुभव व संचित-करम  से। 
अगर कभी, 
कोई मनवा दे तुम्हें, 
की जो अबतक देखा-सुना, समझा-पहचाना,
वो सब कुछ था ही नहीं 
बस वर्णमाला सी थी एक,
जो ' '' '' '' बनकर साथ थी तुम्हारे,
बस कुछ समय तक, 
जिसे गुनगुनाते थे कभी तुम शौक से सर्वज्ञान समझ, 
और आज उन्हीं के क्रम के समीकरणों में लड़खड़ाते हो। 
बस कुछ सीढ़िया सी थी,
जिनपे पग-पग भर तुम ऊपर...और ऊपर चढ़े जाते हो। 
और ऊपर पहुँच कर देखते हो,
कि ऊपर तो बाक़ी है आसमानों के भी आसमाँ, 
और न जाने कितने बादलों पर,
अभी छूटने बाकि है इन पैरों के निशाँ।
पर.......,
प्रश्न यह नहीं कि कितने आसमां अभी और नपेंगे,
और कितने रह जायेंगे 
और यह भी नहीं कि,
और कितनी वर्णमालाएँ जपेंगे 
और कितने स्वर-व्यंजन याद रख पाएंगे। 
प्रश्न तो यह है,
कि आखिर 'कभी' तो थकान लगेगी,
'कहीँ' तो कदम लड़खड़ाएंगे,
और उन्हीं 'कहीँ' में,
'कभी' वो जमीन के किस्से याद आएंगे। 
और जितने वो किस्से याद आएंगे, 
जिंदगी के उतने ही हिस्से बंट जायेंगे। 
पर ये भी हो सकता है,
कि जब तक वो किस्से याद आएं,
जिंदगी का पल-पल बंट जाये, 
बंट जाए इतना कि,
एक भी हिस्सा तुम्हारे खुद का न रहे,
हर हिस्से में कभी किसी अपने का, 
तो किसी में तुम्हारे अहम् का हक़ रहे। 
पर........,
संभव है यह भी कि,
इतने में नींद तुम्हारी टूट जाए,
या कोई और झकझोर दे तुम्हें,
और कहे....,
"अरे क्या कोई सपना था बुरा?... 
जिससे जगे हो अभी-अभी?" 
और तुम मुस्कुरा दो,
और कहो,
"हाँ शायद था कोई सपना ही, 
और या फिर अब ये किसी सपने में हूँ
पर जो भी हो,
ज्यादा जरुरी है सबसे कि,
इन दोनों स्वप्नों के बीच की,
'अगर कभी' की दुनियां में थोड़ा ज्यादा जियूँ।"
                                                                                                                         -गोल्डी तिवारी। 

Friday, 26 August 2016

कविता: मोक्ष और प्रेम ।


मोक्ष और प्रेम 
मोक्ष, यानि मुक्ति,
पद -छंद  रहित उन्मुक्त जीवन की एक सूक्ति 
जहाँ मानव हो हर बंधन ,हर मोह से परे,
जिये अहम् -अपेक्षाओ से रहित..,और बिना
किसी से डरे 
ये हर उद्देश्य का अंतिम ध्ये और कर्मो  का
कारण कहलाता है,
मोक्ष तो  केवल मोक्ष निभाकर ही पाया जाता है

और प्रेम.....,

द्वेष- दंभ- दुविधा हीन होकर जब प्रेम निभाया जाए......,
तो ऐसा प्रेम भटकाए नहीं अपितु  मोक्ष-प्राप्ति की दिशा दिखाए 
व्याधि-बाधा -बंधन व बंधने -बाँधने  से परे ऐसा ये दिव्य संबंध........ ,
 जैसे...
 राधा पर चढ़ा अगाध  कृष्ण-प्रेम  का रंग...,
जैसे..
द्रौपदी की अस्मिता बचाने हेतु गोविन्द का अलौकिक -अप्रत्यक्ष ढंग ...,
जैसे..
अर्जुन ने पाया  सारथि रुपी कृष्ण  का संग ,
और ...,
मीरा के श्रद्धा-समर्पण भरे गीतों का सारंग ...,
ये ही परमेश्वर  ........,
ये ही परमानन्द
प्रेम है....
मानवीय -संवेदनाओ की की सौंधी- सुगंध...
हर संबंध के गठबंधन की पृष्ठभूमि को आकार देने वाला निराकार है, 
प्रेम ही मुक्ति मार्ग और कर्मो में रत होने पुरस्कार है 
  -गोल्डी तिवारी।